A Lost Kitten Page 19

  “Yeah, I don’t like it, either,” John said.

  “Then give her your shirt,” Audra ordered.

  “Excuse me?”

  Audra held out her hand. “You do not want my brother looking at her nakedness, then give Jasira your shirt.”

  “And what is she going to do with it?”

  Audra pressed her lips together and shrugged her shoulders. “I guess he does not mind that you see her naked, brother. You can turn around.”

  “Who the hell said that?” barked John.

  Asher moved closer to his wife. His gaze turned chilly as he scowled at John.

  “She’s in and out of consciousness,” said Audra. “She cannot dress herself, and I cannot help her. Just give her your shirt so we can get her in a warm, comfortable bed inside to rest.”

  “She’s a ghost!” John’s voice rose higher. “What is she going to do in a bed?”

  “We can always leave her on the dirt floor naked for all Surrealans to see!” retorted Asher.

  “Fine.” John rose to his knees. Though he felt foolish giving in, he removed his jacket then his shirt.

  Audra took the shirt. “Hold out your right arm so Jasira can use it for leverage.”

  John did as she instructed. He felt Jasira’s small hand take hold of his forearm. “Jasira, baby, it’s going to be all right. I’m here. I won’t leave you.”

  Audra took John’s left arm. “Let her lean against you so she can catch her breath, and I can help her with the shirt.”

  John felt Jasira’s weight on his left arm. Audra slipped his shirt around Jasira’s shoulders and buttoned the front. John stared in awe at the floating shirt; at the outline of two perky, feminine breasts.

  “This is going to be a bit tricky,” said Audra. “The moment I tell you to do so, John, you lower Jasira to the floor. We do not want her fainting and falling out of your arms.”

  John quickly nodded. Bogdan finally turned around. Asher picked up John’s discarded jacket.

  “All right, then.” Audra prepared to stand. “Jasira, let me know as soon as you feel up to it. John will help you stand.”

  It was nerve-racking, but with Audra’s patience and guidance, John was able to place his wife safely in bed.

  .

  Chapter 13

  Friday, the 19th of November

  John kept a wary eye on the barn doors while he helped Bogdan drag and stack large carcasses of meat into six huge piles in the center of the enclosed field. Being around one Surrealan horse was stressful enough; he was not thrilled with being near eight. Nor was he happy to discover that Rau was serious when he had said they were carnivores.

  Bogdan stretched his back. “That should do it.”

  John wiped the sweat from his forehead with the rag that dangled from his waistband. “You do this every day?”

  “When I do not let them out to hunt on their own.”

  “Why don’t you?”

  “They would get too fat.”

  John looked at him like if he was crazy. “Who would notice under all that hair?”

  Bogdan chuckled.

  “Besides, wouldn’t it be more cost effective?” He pointed to the pile of meat with his chin. “This must cost a king’s ransom.”

  Bogdan wiped his face with his own rag. “It would if I paid for it.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  Bogdan met his gaze and frowned. “I’m not that rich. I went hunting.”

  “Hunting!” John eyed the six piles. “How the hell did you gather this much meat hunting alone?”

  “We have big game on Surreal. And I did not go alone. The men in my famuhlee joined me.”

  John recalled the beast he had seen in the forest. He remembered Rau’s words—that there were bigger creatures than a horse on Surreal. This headless pile of skinned meat was the closest he wanted to get to any of them.

  Bogdan headed to the barn. “You had better get to the fence. The horses are hungry.” He opened the double doors.

  John bolted to the nearest fence and leapt over it. From the other side, he watched the horses trot out of the large barn. They spread out and began devouring their meal. John wondered how Bogdan had killed such a large beast. He must possess powerful weapons.

  Bogdan appeared beside John. He sat on the fence facing his horses. John raised his foot and rested his arms on the fence. They watched the horses eat in silence for several minutes.

  “Bogdan, how far do Jasira’s parents live from here?”

  “A half-day’s ride on horseback. Why?”

  “She’ll need to say her good-byes.”

  Bogdan looked at him. “Good-byes?”

  John glanced at him. “She’ll be returning with me to the empire.”

  Bogdan’s confusion was on his face. “Did she tell you this?”

  “She’s my wife, Bogdan. Where I go, she goes. I’ll tell her tomorrow, after she gets back. She might want to return to her house and gather some of her things.” John shook his head and chuckled at the idea of a ghost owning possessions.

  “John…I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Jasira cannot go with you.”

  John looked at him. “Of course she can.”

  “No, she cannot.”

  John noticed Bogdan’s grimace. He waited for Bogdan to explain.

  “If she leaves Surreal, she will cease to exist.”

  John laughed softly. “What are you talking about?” He went back to observing the horses. “She’s already dead.”

  Bogdan shook his head. “She is mist. But she will vanish permanently if she tries to leave this planet.”

  John’s smile vanished.

  “You do not remember, do you?”

  “Remember what?”

  “That Jasira’s soul is anchored to this planet. The Medlothians linked all dying Surrealan souls that were about to pass into the afterlife to the planet’s energy core. The planet supplies the mists with the energy they need to exist without their bodies. If they leave, they will be truly dead.”

  John lowered his leg and faced Bogdan. “That can’t be. Bogdan, tell me the truth!”

  “That is the truth, my fend.”

  John scowled. “Then what am I supposed to do? I can’t leave my wife here. And I’m not staying. I have to return home!”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?” John looked back at the house. Dena’s words entered his head. “Tell me something, Bogdan.” John stared coldly at him. “Why did you bring me here? Were you really trying to be a good guy, or did you have an ulterior motive for offering me a ride home?”

  Bogdan swallowed hard, averting his eyes.

  “Why did you bring me here, Bogdan? This time I want the truth.”

  “Does it matter now?” asked Bogdan. “You found your other half.”

  “Yeah, I did—and she’s dead!” he said sharply. “Answer my question. Why did you bring me here?”

  “To find your other half.”

  “Stop lying to me!”

  Bogdan’s head whipped toward John. “I’m not lying to you! I’m a Seeker. A Surrealan who has chosen to sail the stars to seek kindred spirits for my race. I sensed you were on Cerko—”

  “What do you mean, sensed?”

  “One of the spells the Medlothians placed on my peepuhl allows us to locate those meant to share their lives with a Surrealan.” Bogdan faced the horses. “You were one of them.”

  “So you did have an ulterior motive,” said John. It was not a question.

  Bogdan stared at John. “Yes, I did. It’s what I do. What I will do until I die.”

  John glared back at him.

  “You found your other half.” Bogdan looked at the horses. “And I saved another soul.”

  “Saved? She’s dead! You didn’t save a damn thing! What you did was make everything worse!”

  Bogdan regarded John in confusion. “By bringing the two of you together?”

  “Yes!” blurted John. His gaze dropped to the ground. He reached out
and braced himself on the fence.

  Bogdan spoke quietly. “I thought you were happy.”

  “My soulmate is dead. Why the hell do you think that makes me happy?” John paused. “I searched everywhere for her. I had all these wonderful plans for our life together. I tried not to think of never finding her.” He snickered. “I don’t know which is worse. Living your life without your soulmate, or living your life with a soulmate who’s not really there.”

  “But, John, she is here.”

  “No, she’s not!” John glared at him. “I can’t see her. I can’t touch her. I can’t talk to her. I only know she’s there because I was born with heightened senses. I can never have what you have, Bogdan. A real wife. A family.” He swallowed and focused on the mountains in the distance. “I love Jasira. She’s my soulmate. But it’s not enough.” He glanced at Bogdan. “It’s only half a dream.”

  Bogdan lowered his head. He said nothing.

  John watched the horses eat. He mulled over what Bogdan revealed. He thought of his life before meeting Jasira. Even though he had a large loving family and an enormous amount of caring friends, John could never shake the feeling of being alone. Whenever Jasira was around, that loneliness disappeared. Could he return to a solitary existence? Did he want to?

  “I don’t want to lose Jasira completely,” he finally admitted. He took a deep breath. “I guess half a dream is better than none. If it’s all I’m meant to have,” he said, stepping away from the fence, “then so be it.”

  Bogdan watched John move away. “What are you going to do?”

  “The only thing I can do,” he said, returning to the house.

  Sunday, the 21st of November

  The French double doors to the balcony were open. A slight breeze entered the room, carrying with it the scent of vanilla. John woke up with a smile. It no longer bothered him as much that he lost consciousness after making love to his wife. It was a small price to pay for experiencing something so extraordinary.

  What bothered John was the lack of energy afterward. It not only made him lose consciousness, but it kept him from making love to Jasira more than once. If Jasira were real, he would have no problem mating with her frequently.

  John yawned and stretched, sitting up in bed. Lowering his arm, he checked the time. It was ten in the morning. He reached out with his senses. A life force stood outside on the balcony. He glanced out the doors. The balcony was empty.

  “Jasira?”

  By the short wall, a glowing swirl of mist appeared. John watched as the mist gathered and condensed. Jasira’s form materialized. John was amazed. She had not done that before. Jasira stood with her back facing him. Her outstretched arms were on the wall. She glanced over her left shoulder at him and smiled.

  John’s breath snagged. “I can see you.”

  Jasira faced him, leaning her bottom against the wall. She remained on the balcony, watching John observe her beautiful, pale features. Her ghostly image was denser than the last time he had seen it. She had been translucent then. This time, he could barely see the low wall or the blue sky behind her.

  Jasira wore the same dress he had seen her in the last time. It had a low-cut bodice and it hugged her waist before flowing past her hips, to the ground. Her hair flowed around her shoulders in dark waves, reaching to the middle of her back. Her lips were full and pouty. Her nose, small and dainty.

  “You are so beautiful.”

  Thank you, she mouthed.

  John stared at Jasira, wishing she were alive. He swallowed. He could not go on wishing for something that would never happen. He had to stop being ungrateful and selfish. He had come extremely close to living a life without knowing if his soulmate existed. At least Jasira was there with him. He could smell her. He could feel her presence. He could feel her touch. That was better than not feeling her at all.

  Life would have been so different if he had not returned to Surreal with Bogdan; if Daehog had not attacked Sea Base Ten; if he had died in the crash. John switched his attention to his lap. His life before the attack was not the best, or the easiest, but it was good for the most part. His family’s love saw him through the hard times as well as the good. Still, John had never felt whole.

  No feline felt complete until they united with their soulmate. Jasira sat next to him. John lifted his sights to hers. After so many years of searching, he had found his soulmate.

  He inhaled Jasira’s scent and reached out to touch her cheek. His fingers went through her face. Jasira’s features grew sad. John clenched his jaw. Jasira caressed his cheek. John felt her fingers. He swallowed. It was not how he planned. But it never was. Only one thing was for certain—he had a soulmate.

  “Bogdan told me you can’t leave Surreal or you’ll disappear. Is that true?”

  Jasira pressed her lips together and sadly nodded.

  “Your soul is linked to the planet’s core energy?”

  She nodded.

  “Jasira…you know my empire is under attack, right?”

  Jasira nodded.

  “I was going to ask you to come with me. Now that I know you’ll disappear…” John averted his face while he searched for the right words. “What I’m trying to say,” he continued, looking at her, “is that I have to go.” He saw her frown and quickly added, “I’ll be back. If this is the only place you can exist, then this is the only place I want to live.”

  Jasira affectionately cupped his cheek.

  John kissed the palm of her hand. “I love you. I’ll never leave you.” He held her gaze. “And if I die, we’ll be together.”

  Alarmed, Jasira quickly framed his face with her hands and shook her head, mouthing no repeatedly.

  John read the panic in her eyes. “Relax. I’m just saying, if it happens—” But Jasira’s fingers stopped him from continuing. John pulled his head away. “All right, I’ll stop. But do you understand what I’m saying? I have to go to war. I have to leave you. But I’ll be back. I promise.”

  Jasira embraced him. John closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. At times like this one, Jasira felt extremely real. The last thing John wanted to do was leave his soulmate, but he was left with no other choice. He had a responsibility to his family, to his warriors, and to the empire.

  “I have something to ask of you,” he said. Jasira’s arms slackened, her gaze questioning him. “The Oceanans, my mother’s race, believe that their God, Onssa, divides one soul and places each half into different beings. When the two beings mate and their souls match, their spirits fuse back into one essence. Their union results in a mark, a cluster of cuts, placed upon the recipients’ body during their final—” John hesitated. He realized he had never seen Jasira orgasm before. He was unsure if she could. “Well…in the end.”

  Jasira smiled.

  “For the woman, the cuts are below the waist. For the man, above it. The location of the scar is left up to the soul to decide.” John licked his lips. “You know how I’m always tearing up the bed and sheets and leaving claw marks on the walls and furniture?”

  Jasira nodded with a smile.

  “My soul recognizes you as its other half. It’s trying to mark you. Make you my wife. But because I can’t touch you, it’s marking everything else.” John tapped the mattress next to him.

  Jasira craned her neck and saw the torn sheets and mattress he was pointing at.

  “Do you understand me so far?”

  She nodded.

  “Since you’re not a feline, you don’t feel this incredible urge—this necessity to mark me.” John raised his hand. “But that’s okay. My father is human. He never got that urge, either. What he did do was take a knife and mark my mother.”

  John scooted to the opposite side of the bed. He got off and went to his boots by the door. He pulled out his knife from the secret sheath and brought the knife to Jasira.

  “I want you to do the same.”

  Jasira stood from the bed.

  “I want you to pick a place anywhere above my waist and c
ut me no less than three times.”

  Jasira shook her head no.

  “Jasira, listen to me!” John’s voice was firm. He was determined to make Jasira understand; this was extremely important to him. “By Oceanan law, the cuts are needed to prove we are married. If you were alive, I would have marked you by now.” He pointed to himself. “I have no marks. I’m going to war. I don’t want to leave your side without making our marriage legal. Right now, it isn’t, Jasira. We’re not married under any law. But three or more simple cuts will change that. I’ll be your husband. Don’t you want to marry me?”

  Jasira stomped her foot.

  “You don’t want to marry me?”

  Jasira punched John’s bicep. Her action made him chuckle. “All right, then.” He sobered. “This is the only way, sweetheart.” He held the handle out for her to take. “I want you as my wife. Mark me your husband, Jasira.”

  Jasira regarded the knife without touching it.

  “Mark me your husband.”

  With a grimace, Jasira reached for the knife. She hesitated before taking it from John’s grasp. She silently begged him with her eyes not to make her do it.

  “I want this, Jasira. I’ve waited all my life for this mark. Remember, it’s not just a mark. It’s a soulscar. The feline’s matrimonial band, placed on their body by their soulmate. You are my soulmate. I want to bear your soulscar.” John stood tall. “Please.”

  Jasira gave in. She circled John twice, scanning his upper body.

  “Anywhere above the waist, my love.” John closed his eyes. “Let your soul decide.”

  John knew where Jasira stood. His pounding heart thumped harder. His breathing was fast and shallow. Perspiration developed over his body. The anticipation was killing him.

  Jasira raised the blade to John’s chest. With the initial cut on John’s right pectoral, a door thrust open in John’s core. A searing blast of energy rushed throughout his body. With every cut Jasira made, a new wave of energy washed over him. His soul felt alive. Freed. Bursting with energy. After the fourth cut, John heard the knife clank on the floor.

  He opened his eyes and viewed his wife gripping her stomach through glowing brown eyes. “Thank you.”